Pina
Pina de la Torre Sanchez Vallequilla Belardo Sans is a badass bitch and you better watch out 'cuz if not you gonna get your head knocked in with a chancla, especially if you a gringa and you don't know how to wear makeup. Puh-leas.
Hillary
Hillary Like is a depressed, teenage goth with her own metal radio show. She hates commercialism in music. Britney was her best friend, but now she's not. It's none of your business why!
Regina Pickel
Born in 1952, Regina Pickel grew up in the Bronx of NY state and survived her husband of 32 years, Larry Pickel, along with her two boys, Sal (short for Salim) and Emanuel, both single and ready to mingle, as they say...that is, if Regina approves. No goys allowed in the family, nothing personal. It's tradition, bubbe.
Cordelia
The animals deserve justice and she's here to tell you so. And if you don't listen, you are part of the problem! Can't you see we are all the same?
Cordelia
The animals deserve justice and she's here to tell you so. And if you don't listen, you are part of the problem! Can't you see we are all the same?
Characters
Fern
Fern Baker has so many grandchildren, yet nobody visits her. Why? Because they're all a bunch of good for nothings, that's why. But God won't take her. Life's unfair.
Brian
Brian
Living on the street for over 15 years, is best friends with his blowup doll of Ronald Reagan.
Favorite song: if you like piña coladas!
Cordelia
The animals deserve justice and she's here to tell you so. And if you don't listen, you are part of the problem! Can't you see we are all the same?
Cordelia
The animals deserve justice and she's here to tell you so. And if you don't listen, you are part of the problem! Can't you see we are all the same?
Lucy
Lucy lives in Maine, likes skiing and playing the ukelele. Favorite person in the world: Pat. Why won't he hang out with her anymore?
Chloe
Chloe rules over the Pacific Garbage Patch. She's a little sunburnt, thanks to stupid UPS always getting her address wrong. Don't make her sing to you; you'll regret it forever.
Mia de la Haye
Mia de la Haye is from Long Island and has a proclivity of collecting losings instead of winnings, by way of men. She's defiant, but she's also a cryer. Don't catch her on a bad day; it can get dramatic.
Cordelia
The animals deserve justice and she's here to tell you so. And if you don't listen, you are part of the problem! Can't you see we are all the same?